Today? Today was like bungee jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge and realizing on the way down you forgot the cord! But praise God from Whom all blessings flow, I forgot the cord, but He didn't! When I was at the end of my rope (or without one in this case) He supplied the safety net, and boy, did I ever need it today.
My Daddy is heading down hill on a bike with no brakes. His capacity to understand new concepts is about gone. Patience? I have some tucked somewhere in my hip pocket, but it's not readily accessible. This is a lesson God is teaching me. I feel His hand in it. My brother is a calming voice amidst the chaos. I am so thankful for his insight. I have always adored him and today, I adore him more. I am so thankful God let us be in the same family!
I am by nature a loner. I think God may be readying me for long lines of people wanting to buy books from me and talk to me--something that requires patience. And He is readying me for the task ahead with Daddy moving in. I realize it is going to be a challenge--after today, I see what a challenge! I'm willing to go through the fire, Lord, if I can be of better service to You.
I can run this race. I can fight the good fight. I can count it all joy. I can do this thing through Christ Who strengthens me.
I am taking a boat-load of girls on a trip this week-end for my daughter's 16th birthday. I am so excited and so blessed to be able to do this for her. I'll be gone for the next few days, but I'll think of all of you.
6/28/2007
6/27/2007
Love the Sewer Rats
It's late and I'm tired, but I just wanted to say, "I love Him." I am so in love with my Saviour I can barely contain it. He has saved me from the pit of hell. He has kept me from living an eternity banished from His presence. Me! He knew I am so prone to wander, so prone to sin, but He died on that cross just for me. How can I not love Him?
He loves me and He sees my dark heart, the corners that rarely get swept clean, the places that nearly always fail the white glove tests. How can it be? I scare can take it in. But, His grace doesn't stop there. He loves me, and He blesses me. Why? I've done so little with my life. I've wasted so many years. If I had been Him I would have washed my hands of me long ago, but that's it. I'm not Him. He has given me chance, after chance, after chance to be obedient and follow Him, and Him only.
How, then, could I ever not keep giving someone chance, after chance, after chance? I cannot. It is mandated for me to give the same mercy I was given, to show compassion as I was shown compassion, to forgive as I was forgiven and to love as I have been loved.
Sometimes, some people are harder to love than others. They sabotage the relationships they are in to prove that you really didn't love them in the first place. "See I told you..." They say that a lot. Others do mean, things, turn it around to be your fault and then claim you don't love them. But, if we are to follow Christ's example, we love them all. We are not their saviour and we can't save then from themselves, but we can love them, we can pray for them and we can bend over backwards to show how much God loves them through our own tenacity to hold on to them and not let them drown.
God is the only Being Who has the right and the knowledge to know when someone's heart is too hard for redemption. Humans should never wash their hands of another human being. We may have to sever the physical relationship with them, but they can reamin in our prayers until our last breath.
We sing "Jesus Loves Me," but it is true for everyone. Jesus loves everyone and He is our Leader. He is our Model. He is the only Pattern we should cut our behavior from.
We have been called to love our enemy. Let's do it. Let's love the unlovely. Christ picked us up, putrid, smelly, as dirty as dirty could be and He loves us. He washed us. He clothed us in His righteousness. So go out, Friends, and find a sewer rat and take 'em home, give 'em a bath and shower them with blessings.
He loves me and He sees my dark heart, the corners that rarely get swept clean, the places that nearly always fail the white glove tests. How can it be? I scare can take it in. But, His grace doesn't stop there. He loves me, and He blesses me. Why? I've done so little with my life. I've wasted so many years. If I had been Him I would have washed my hands of me long ago, but that's it. I'm not Him. He has given me chance, after chance, after chance to be obedient and follow Him, and Him only.
How, then, could I ever not keep giving someone chance, after chance, after chance? I cannot. It is mandated for me to give the same mercy I was given, to show compassion as I was shown compassion, to forgive as I was forgiven and to love as I have been loved.
Sometimes, some people are harder to love than others. They sabotage the relationships they are in to prove that you really didn't love them in the first place. "See I told you..." They say that a lot. Others do mean, things, turn it around to be your fault and then claim you don't love them. But, if we are to follow Christ's example, we love them all. We are not their saviour and we can't save then from themselves, but we can love them, we can pray for them and we can bend over backwards to show how much God loves them through our own tenacity to hold on to them and not let them drown.
God is the only Being Who has the right and the knowledge to know when someone's heart is too hard for redemption. Humans should never wash their hands of another human being. We may have to sever the physical relationship with them, but they can reamin in our prayers until our last breath.
We sing "Jesus Loves Me," but it is true for everyone. Jesus loves everyone and He is our Leader. He is our Model. He is the only Pattern we should cut our behavior from.
We have been called to love our enemy. Let's do it. Let's love the unlovely. Christ picked us up, putrid, smelly, as dirty as dirty could be and He loves us. He washed us. He clothed us in His righteousness. So go out, Friends, and find a sewer rat and take 'em home, give 'em a bath and shower them with blessings.
Wild Rides and Cups in the Toilet
Yesterday was a bit like the "Twilight Zone." I took my Dad, with the middle stages of Alzheimer's, to see my Gramma, who is 102 1/2 and has dementia--she lives solely in the past. Whew! For my Gramma I was at times my mother, who lives in Heaven now, and a Cavenaugh, people from Maple Hill, and a strange boy, there to do her bidding.
The minute we got to the nursing home, the aide said they had to do a treatment (give Granny oxygen). Well, Granny doesn't particularly like the treatment. So as soon as the aide left, she started trying to pull the oxygen off. She wanted to spit. I had nothing for her to spit in so I gave her the trashcan. She spit a couple of times then said, "Now put some water in it." Okay, call it insanity, but I thought she meant to rinse it out.
I didn't look in the can, after all, she had just spit in it. I dumped it into the toilet. I heard something more than spit hit the water, looked and I had dumped a plastic cup into the toilet which had not been flushed since her last...um...BM.
I'm NOT reaching into a very dirty toilet to retrieve a cup without some gloves of major substance, so I went on a treasure hunt to find some gloves. Now I'm thirsty and worn out. Finally found a housekeeper that had gloves and could careless why I needed them, but I felt compelled to explain, in minute detail, exactly why I needed the gloves.
Went back to Granny's room and she hollered, "Boy, I need some water."
"Okay, Granny. Lemme clean up the trash can and get the cup." And, NNOOooooo, I wasn't planning to use that cup for her water.
I fished the cup out, cleaned the trashcan and put it back in its proper position among Granny's possessions. "Put the paper towel beside it." Now I had a paper towel in my hand that I had used to dry my clean hands after washing the glove-stuff off. I had no idea why she wanted a paper towel back there, but, you know, it's her room and her stuff. Down the paper towel went.
"I need water. Just put it in there." That was what she wanted all along. She hadn't wanted me to clean the trash can, but put her some water in it to drink. Okay, I admit at this point I was trying hard not to hurl my breakfast and dinner from the night before.
I said, "Granny, let me go get a cup." She put up some argument, but I left to embark on my second treasure hunt. Found the aide and again began to explain in detail about what had happened and why I needed a cup. I'm thinking at this point somebody's demetia has leaked out and I've inhaled it.
Got the cup, walked back to Granny's room and went to the faucet to get water. I handed her the cup, she took a sip and politely--spit it out--on the floor--of her room--which is carpeted.
"Granny!" (Okay, I'm exasperated now). "Why did you spit it out?" (Yes, I was expecting a sane answer).
"Because," she stated flatly, giving what she considers a sane answer, "I wanted you to go to the creek over yonder and get me some spring water. It's cool and fresh. It's so good."
I'm now at a loss. , but, Mighty Aide to save the day. She takes the cup and goes outside to the water fountain--of course, cool, fresh water. Takes a swig of "spring" water, looks at me, "You Cavenaugh's don't know a thing." (Now mind you, I AM not a Cavenaugh!) Glory!
Then she puts her feet down, wheels herself out to the hall without a by-your-leave-nothing. It was quite a feat, I must say, for a one and two year old woman to wheel her own chair to the hallway.
One the way home, Daddy asked me twenty times did Granny know him and did she mention Lena, my Momma. The funny thing about yesterday: Neither one of them is going to remember any of it!!!!
It's a wild adventure! A wild ride! And, totally cool with me. I'm growing and doing things I never would have even imagined, especially fishing cups out of soiled toilet water. Now there's something you can't make up!
God has bestowed upon me patience I never knew I was capable of, love that doesn't come easily for me and strength--I am chronically anemic from kidney disease! I am able through His power--folks, that's cause to celebrate, so I'll just keep chuggin' along and singin' a new song for His glory! Hallelujah! He's all that!
The minute we got to the nursing home, the aide said they had to do a treatment (give Granny oxygen). Well, Granny doesn't particularly like the treatment. So as soon as the aide left, she started trying to pull the oxygen off. She wanted to spit. I had nothing for her to spit in so I gave her the trashcan. She spit a couple of times then said, "Now put some water in it." Okay, call it insanity, but I thought she meant to rinse it out.
I didn't look in the can, after all, she had just spit in it. I dumped it into the toilet. I heard something more than spit hit the water, looked and I had dumped a plastic cup into the toilet which had not been flushed since her last...um...BM.
I'm NOT reaching into a very dirty toilet to retrieve a cup without some gloves of major substance, so I went on a treasure hunt to find some gloves. Now I'm thirsty and worn out. Finally found a housekeeper that had gloves and could careless why I needed them, but I felt compelled to explain, in minute detail, exactly why I needed the gloves.
Went back to Granny's room and she hollered, "Boy, I need some water."
"Okay, Granny. Lemme clean up the trash can and get the cup." And, NNOOooooo, I wasn't planning to use that cup for her water.
I fished the cup out, cleaned the trashcan and put it back in its proper position among Granny's possessions. "Put the paper towel beside it." Now I had a paper towel in my hand that I had used to dry my clean hands after washing the glove-stuff off. I had no idea why she wanted a paper towel back there, but, you know, it's her room and her stuff. Down the paper towel went.
"I need water. Just put it in there." That was what she wanted all along. She hadn't wanted me to clean the trash can, but put her some water in it to drink. Okay, I admit at this point I was trying hard not to hurl my breakfast and dinner from the night before.
I said, "Granny, let me go get a cup." She put up some argument, but I left to embark on my second treasure hunt. Found the aide and again began to explain in detail about what had happened and why I needed a cup. I'm thinking at this point somebody's demetia has leaked out and I've inhaled it.
Got the cup, walked back to Granny's room and went to the faucet to get water. I handed her the cup, she took a sip and politely--spit it out--on the floor--of her room--which is carpeted.
"Granny!" (Okay, I'm exasperated now). "Why did you spit it out?" (Yes, I was expecting a sane answer).
"Because," she stated flatly, giving what she considers a sane answer, "I wanted you to go to the creek over yonder and get me some spring water. It's cool and fresh. It's so good."
I'm now at a loss. , but, Mighty Aide to save the day. She takes the cup and goes outside to the water fountain--of course, cool, fresh water. Takes a swig of "spring" water, looks at me, "You Cavenaugh's don't know a thing." (Now mind you, I AM not a Cavenaugh!) Glory!
Then she puts her feet down, wheels herself out to the hall without a by-your-leave-nothing. It was quite a feat, I must say, for a one and two year old woman to wheel her own chair to the hallway.
One the way home, Daddy asked me twenty times did Granny know him and did she mention Lena, my Momma. The funny thing about yesterday: Neither one of them is going to remember any of it!!!!
It's a wild adventure! A wild ride! And, totally cool with me. I'm growing and doing things I never would have even imagined, especially fishing cups out of soiled toilet water. Now there's something you can't make up!
God has bestowed upon me patience I never knew I was capable of, love that doesn't come easily for me and strength--I am chronically anemic from kidney disease! I am able through His power--folks, that's cause to celebrate, so I'll just keep chuggin' along and singin' a new song for His glory! Hallelujah! He's all that!
6/25/2007
The Cost Jesus Requires
Had a bit of a meltdown today. I went over to Daddy's house to fold laundry. My mind kept screaming, "Momma, you should be doing this!" I guess it was because I was folding the sheets she last slept on before going to the hospital. I think the cry did me good, though.
I watched an inspiring movie about Mother Teresa today. It made me want to sell all my possessions and move to India. She was so selfless and had such an awesome relationship with God. She would see hungry, thirsty people in the streets and it would turn out that she was giving God drink and food--awesome! I wonder if I've ever done that. I did write a poem in the front of a Bible once and gave it to a homeless man along with two bags of groceries--I never saw him begging again. I buy beggars on the street lunch, but is that enough? A friend of mine cooks lunch for about twenty homeless people everyday--that is sacrifice.
I need to do more. I want to do more. I want people to see love in me. I want them to know how much they are cherished by the Savior by what I do for them as His earthly tool. I know it's a small thing, but I try to look the homeless in the eye and smile. I pray they see Christ.
The Lord says in Isaiah 58:7 "to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter--when you see the naked to clothe him..." These are sacrifices God finds pleasing. Then, among other things, our healing will appear quickly, THEN you will call and the Lord will hear.
Dear Christian Friend, does it seem sometimes God is not answering your prayers? Have you repented of sin, but still no answer? There are many reasons why this may be so, but one of them could very well be not so much selfishness as just not seeing the desperate need of those around us. Oblivion. Living in your busy world, blind to the hurt and pain and suffering running so rampantly at your feet.
We need to perform selfless acts--or as the popular saying today goes, "Random acts of kindness." It's true. It's a Biblical principle. Christians ought to be the first in line to buy a meal for a corner beggar. To offer our umbrellas to the man standing at the bus stop waiting in the rain. To hold the door for the elderly couple coming in the restaurant--and letting them get ahead of you in line. To offer the young mother at Wal-mart a dime when she says she's short or offer to take her empty cart to the buggy collection place. To pay for someone's meal in a restaurant when you haven't the slighest idea who they are. So what if they can afford to buy you dinner? It's the act of kindness. People go home and think about these things. Hopefully, their pondering leads them straight to Jesus.
And, if you don't want to do any of those things, smiling won't cost you and it's universal. Let your eyes twinkle and your nose crinkle with the sheer joy of knowing Jesus and passing His love on to someone else.
I watched an inspiring movie about Mother Teresa today. It made me want to sell all my possessions and move to India. She was so selfless and had such an awesome relationship with God. She would see hungry, thirsty people in the streets and it would turn out that she was giving God drink and food--awesome! I wonder if I've ever done that. I did write a poem in the front of a Bible once and gave it to a homeless man along with two bags of groceries--I never saw him begging again. I buy beggars on the street lunch, but is that enough? A friend of mine cooks lunch for about twenty homeless people everyday--that is sacrifice.
I need to do more. I want to do more. I want people to see love in me. I want them to know how much they are cherished by the Savior by what I do for them as His earthly tool. I know it's a small thing, but I try to look the homeless in the eye and smile. I pray they see Christ.
The Lord says in Isaiah 58:7 "to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter--when you see the naked to clothe him..." These are sacrifices God finds pleasing. Then, among other things, our healing will appear quickly, THEN you will call and the Lord will hear.
Dear Christian Friend, does it seem sometimes God is not answering your prayers? Have you repented of sin, but still no answer? There are many reasons why this may be so, but one of them could very well be not so much selfishness as just not seeing the desperate need of those around us. Oblivion. Living in your busy world, blind to the hurt and pain and suffering running so rampantly at your feet.
We need to perform selfless acts--or as the popular saying today goes, "Random acts of kindness." It's true. It's a Biblical principle. Christians ought to be the first in line to buy a meal for a corner beggar. To offer our umbrellas to the man standing at the bus stop waiting in the rain. To hold the door for the elderly couple coming in the restaurant--and letting them get ahead of you in line. To offer the young mother at Wal-mart a dime when she says she's short or offer to take her empty cart to the buggy collection place. To pay for someone's meal in a restaurant when you haven't the slighest idea who they are. So what if they can afford to buy you dinner? It's the act of kindness. People go home and think about these things. Hopefully, their pondering leads them straight to Jesus.
And, if you don't want to do any of those things, smiling won't cost you and it's universal. Let your eyes twinkle and your nose crinkle with the sheer joy of knowing Jesus and passing His love on to someone else.
6/24/2007
Tidbits and Loose-ends
As you know, my Dad is not doing well. Momma moved to Heaven in March and he wants to be with her. That's only natural since they were married 61 years--way, waaayyy, wwwaaayyy longer than I've been alive--mind you, I'm the youngest of four.
He has bouts of seeming rational thought, but lately those are not too often. My greatest dread was the day he didn't know me and for a second a few days ago, he didn't know who I was. I took a deep breath and said, "Daddy, it's me." then I saw the light of recognition come on. Whew!
We still haven't sold his house, but I'm a busy beaver trying to fix him a place here he can call his own. To be honest, I think Momma may be helping Jesus these days prepare Daddy's place with her--but it's okay. I can't stand watching him suffer. He's miserable and just wants to be with Momma and the Lord.
If you haven't been to see "Evan Almighty" forget what the critics are saying. It was a good movie. It was inspiring and made me cry! I've been praying for years the same prayer as Evan (I won't give it away). On the way home, my sixteen year old said, "Momma, don't look now, but I think two robins are following you home." That's high praise coming from a teen-ager. I asked her why she would say that. She said, "You're just like Noah and Evan Almighty. You would build an ark." I answered in my ehad, "But wouldn't I look silly with a beard." I dunno--maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
Vacation BIble School is over. I believe the children had a great time. I did. I wish our church was always as multi-cultural as the VBS. With the exception of an incident or two, I believe God was glorified this week.
If you read this blog, I'm going to ask you to be praying for me. I'm trying to be diligent in obedience to get this book written. I'm almost through. When I begin the editng process, ask God to give me a clear mind about what should stay and what should go all for His glory. I want the cburch to be edified, rebuked a bit, but taught through the words. It is fictional and a thrilling or should I say, a thriller--I hope. It scares me anyway! I get chills when I'm writing.
May the peace of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, reign in your heart this week as you go about seeking Him in the various places He reveals Himself. Be ready for Him!
He has bouts of seeming rational thought, but lately those are not too often. My greatest dread was the day he didn't know me and for a second a few days ago, he didn't know who I was. I took a deep breath and said, "Daddy, it's me." then I saw the light of recognition come on. Whew!
We still haven't sold his house, but I'm a busy beaver trying to fix him a place here he can call his own. To be honest, I think Momma may be helping Jesus these days prepare Daddy's place with her--but it's okay. I can't stand watching him suffer. He's miserable and just wants to be with Momma and the Lord.
If you haven't been to see "Evan Almighty" forget what the critics are saying. It was a good movie. It was inspiring and made me cry! I've been praying for years the same prayer as Evan (I won't give it away). On the way home, my sixteen year old said, "Momma, don't look now, but I think two robins are following you home." That's high praise coming from a teen-ager. I asked her why she would say that. She said, "You're just like Noah and Evan Almighty. You would build an ark." I answered in my ehad, "But wouldn't I look silly with a beard." I dunno--maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
Vacation BIble School is over. I believe the children had a great time. I did. I wish our church was always as multi-cultural as the VBS. With the exception of an incident or two, I believe God was glorified this week.
If you read this blog, I'm going to ask you to be praying for me. I'm trying to be diligent in obedience to get this book written. I'm almost through. When I begin the editng process, ask God to give me a clear mind about what should stay and what should go all for His glory. I want the cburch to be edified, rebuked a bit, but taught through the words. It is fictional and a thrilling or should I say, a thriller--I hope. It scares me anyway! I get chills when I'm writing.
May the peace of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, reign in your heart this week as you go about seeking Him in the various places He reveals Himself. Be ready for Him!
He Has Made Me Glad!
Sorry I didn't post yesterday, but I got home late--went to my first ever tractor pull. What a blast! These guys, and a couple of girls, race the most outlandishly souped up vehicles I've ever seen. A tractor had three, count 'em three, turbo jet engines!!!!! I bought some ear plugs. And this place was so crowded you couldn't stir the people with a stick. No alcohol was served which was refreshing. It was so much fun, I hate to say it, but I plan to go back next year. What I'd really love is to drive one of those babies myself! Of course, I have no way of knowing how many miles per gallon they get. Somehow I don't think they would qualify for anything in the economy category!
While I was there, the most gorgeous sunset I've seen in a long time just appeared. It was amazing. The sun was harsh and bright then the most beautifully round red ball. It set behind a Loblolly pine. I said, "Glad You came Lord. This tractor pull is awesome, isn't it. Thank you for such a beautiful sunset. You're a magnificent artist!"
He is everywhere, and isn't that comforting? I don't have to ever worry God won't be someplace. When those big ole trucks were speeding down the track, straining to pull their load, I thanked Him right that minute for being in control so I didn't have to be afraid. Those trucks could easily have spun out of control and ended up in my lap!
That's why it is a sin to have fear. Fear is nothing more than distrust in the One you can trust. Christians let fear get in the way too much. They seem to have fears and hang-ups the outside world doesn't bother to worry about. I hear Chritians moaning about money and finances,about health issues of various and sundry degrees, and on and on.
Another blog I comment on frequently, had a comment from a Christian woman who over and over agin talks about how scared she is. It's heartbreaking to know all she has to do is reach out and take the Master's hand.
We need to be the most courageous people on Earth. We are God's ambassadors. How can the world believe in Him when we don't seem to and we profess to know Him? We tell them, "Put your faith in God. Believe He rose from the dead. Believe He can save you," and turn around to live weak, scared, faithless lives in front of those same people. Things happen and we lament, "What am I gonna do now?" Well, nothing! You're going to trust the One you tell others to trust. You're going to place your faith in the One that deserves every ounce of your trust.
Sweet Child of God, so many of us Christians need to walk in faith. Fear should have no place in our lives. Live with wild abandon! Enjoy this life! It's okay! I don't say, "Who cares whose watching," because we should care. The world needs to see that Christians have fun--real fun. They laugh gut-splitting laughs. They have joy that bubbles up and over the rims of their cups. We can because Jesus has freed us up. We don't have to worry, fret or be afraid!
Jump for joy! He has made me glad!
While I was there, the most gorgeous sunset I've seen in a long time just appeared. It was amazing. The sun was harsh and bright then the most beautifully round red ball. It set behind a Loblolly pine. I said, "Glad You came Lord. This tractor pull is awesome, isn't it. Thank you for such a beautiful sunset. You're a magnificent artist!"
He is everywhere, and isn't that comforting? I don't have to ever worry God won't be someplace. When those big ole trucks were speeding down the track, straining to pull their load, I thanked Him right that minute for being in control so I didn't have to be afraid. Those trucks could easily have spun out of control and ended up in my lap!
That's why it is a sin to have fear. Fear is nothing more than distrust in the One you can trust. Christians let fear get in the way too much. They seem to have fears and hang-ups the outside world doesn't bother to worry about. I hear Chritians moaning about money and finances,about health issues of various and sundry degrees, and on and on.
Another blog I comment on frequently, had a comment from a Christian woman who over and over agin talks about how scared she is. It's heartbreaking to know all she has to do is reach out and take the Master's hand.
We need to be the most courageous people on Earth. We are God's ambassadors. How can the world believe in Him when we don't seem to and we profess to know Him? We tell them, "Put your faith in God. Believe He rose from the dead. Believe He can save you," and turn around to live weak, scared, faithless lives in front of those same people. Things happen and we lament, "What am I gonna do now?" Well, nothing! You're going to trust the One you tell others to trust. You're going to place your faith in the One that deserves every ounce of your trust.
Sweet Child of God, so many of us Christians need to walk in faith. Fear should have no place in our lives. Live with wild abandon! Enjoy this life! It's okay! I don't say, "Who cares whose watching," because we should care. The world needs to see that Christians have fun--real fun. They laugh gut-splitting laughs. They have joy that bubbles up and over the rims of their cups. We can because Jesus has freed us up. We don't have to worry, fret or be afraid!
Jump for joy! He has made me glad!
6/21/2007
Love Him with All You've Got!
Sometimes I just get so frustrated with myself. I make my walk with Jesus so much harder than it has to be--so much harder than it's supposed to be. Our walk with Him should be effortless. Why do I make it so complicated? Why do I resist? What is it inside me that can't let go? Has my life up to this point been perfect? NO! Then what's the problem? I know His way is so much better, yet I still do things first in my own strength and then I have to go to Him with my tail between my legs and ask Him to help me get out of the mess and to show me His way. Am I alone in this?
We have been given two basic commands. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. And the second. It's like it. Love your neighbor as yourself. Why is the love walk difficult? I sometimes say, "Well, I love people." But do I?
If I go to Port City Java and spend $5.00 do I put $5.00 away for someone else? If I go buy something at the mall, do I put an equal amount away for someone else? And what about eternal things? I love myself enough to make sure I am saved. Do I do that for my neighbor? Do I even know my neighbor's first and last name? Do I pray for their hurts, their dreams, their salvation?
I make sure I am in church every Sunday. Why? Because I love myself enough to want to obey God and gather with the brethren. I'm afraid of His discipline. Do I love my neighbor enough to at least extend an invitation every week to come to church?
And, do I even follow the first commandment? Do I really love the Lord with all my heart, soul and mind? Do I follow hard after Him or is Sunday the best day I have for worship and the other six I just fit Him in? Do I really keep a keen eye out for what I put in my mind? Are even the commercials I watch fit for holiness? Why are we so apt to go to a movie that takes the Lord's name in vain? Even once is once too many. He is our Savior. Are we not denying Him as did Peter when we turn our heads at blasphemy of any kind? How can we tolerate such things?
Do we treat our bodies like the temples they are? I know not! We are very careless with these bodies and then we scream when they break down. How can we? A lifetime of abuse and then we want healing? Christians should be very careful--any kind of abuse or addiction is sin, Friends.
God loves us and He wants the best for us, but we have to decide if we really want the best for ourselves. I'm saved, but is that it? Is that all there is? Am I going to Heaven, but just sliding in with no crowns to lay at His feet? Will all my works be burned up? Will I even have any works?
Why has God left me here? What does He desire of me? What has He gifted me with and am I using it totally for His glory? Am I using it the way He would have me use it? Am I settling? Has He asked me to do things that I have refused to do?
Time is so very short. When the Bible tells us to make the most of every opportunity, it's because God realizes how short our lives are--but a vapor. We don't have the luxury of waste. When He tells us to do something, we best get at it. Has He told you to exercise? Do it! Has He told you to quit smoking? Do it! Has He told you to lose weight? Do it! You have to obey these commands before He will give you the next. And the next could be a ministry He wants to begin using your special ability He gave you.
We must come to the realization deep down in the hidden places of our hearts that His way is right. His ways are perfect. His ways are meant to bless us, not to harm us. His way leads to Him and that is the commandment.
I love you, Hope. You are my inspiration!
We have been given two basic commands. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. And the second. It's like it. Love your neighbor as yourself. Why is the love walk difficult? I sometimes say, "Well, I love people." But do I?
If I go to Port City Java and spend $5.00 do I put $5.00 away for someone else? If I go buy something at the mall, do I put an equal amount away for someone else? And what about eternal things? I love myself enough to make sure I am saved. Do I do that for my neighbor? Do I even know my neighbor's first and last name? Do I pray for their hurts, their dreams, their salvation?
I make sure I am in church every Sunday. Why? Because I love myself enough to want to obey God and gather with the brethren. I'm afraid of His discipline. Do I love my neighbor enough to at least extend an invitation every week to come to church?
And, do I even follow the first commandment? Do I really love the Lord with all my heart, soul and mind? Do I follow hard after Him or is Sunday the best day I have for worship and the other six I just fit Him in? Do I really keep a keen eye out for what I put in my mind? Are even the commercials I watch fit for holiness? Why are we so apt to go to a movie that takes the Lord's name in vain? Even once is once too many. He is our Savior. Are we not denying Him as did Peter when we turn our heads at blasphemy of any kind? How can we tolerate such things?
Do we treat our bodies like the temples they are? I know not! We are very careless with these bodies and then we scream when they break down. How can we? A lifetime of abuse and then we want healing? Christians should be very careful--any kind of abuse or addiction is sin, Friends.
God loves us and He wants the best for us, but we have to decide if we really want the best for ourselves. I'm saved, but is that it? Is that all there is? Am I going to Heaven, but just sliding in with no crowns to lay at His feet? Will all my works be burned up? Will I even have any works?
Why has God left me here? What does He desire of me? What has He gifted me with and am I using it totally for His glory? Am I using it the way He would have me use it? Am I settling? Has He asked me to do things that I have refused to do?
Time is so very short. When the Bible tells us to make the most of every opportunity, it's because God realizes how short our lives are--but a vapor. We don't have the luxury of waste. When He tells us to do something, we best get at it. Has He told you to exercise? Do it! Has He told you to quit smoking? Do it! Has He told you to lose weight? Do it! You have to obey these commands before He will give you the next. And the next could be a ministry He wants to begin using your special ability He gave you.
We must come to the realization deep down in the hidden places of our hearts that His way is right. His ways are perfect. His ways are meant to bless us, not to harm us. His way leads to Him and that is the commandment.
I love you, Hope. You are my inspiration!
6/19/2007
Hang On!
My Dad continues to decline. Yesterday when I first walked in he didn't recognize me Then he lamented that I didn't care about him because I hadn't called all day. I had, he just didn't remember. This man is not really my Dad, he's using my Daddy's name, but his personality, his physical body, his emotions, his hygiene, even his voice all belong to someone else. This is definitely not the man that raised me.
We still have not made the move for him to be in my house all the time. He refuses to move until his house is sold. It's his last real possession so I don't push the issue. After his license was taken away, I can't force him to move. It would be heartless. As it stands, he's actually very excited about moving in with me. He'll be shocked, though. I'm a lousy housekeeper. I hope somebody like Martha Stewart gets to live with me in Heaven, because an eternity of messy houskeeping might become...well...un -Heaven-like!
But, God, as always, is doing a work in me. I've been writing--a lot. Very therapeutic. My friend, Hope, and I, are getting to know each other better and getting closer. I love this woman with all my being and I'm so thankful God put her in my life. We are kindred spirits, soul-mates, two peas in a pod. You get it. That has been a blessing, too.
I don't know how people do it. Those who don't have Christ in their life. I just don't know how they get through times that are difficult, painful. Jesus is my best friend. When others are busy with their own lives, but you need to talk--NOW--He's there. When people forget you're having a tough time, He never forgets and He's always there to comfort. When others hurt you so deeply you feel like you can't possibly take in another breath--he's there to soothe the hurt and wipe the tears away.
He never said this life would be easy. In fact, He told us to prepare for trials and persecution, but He did promise to always be with us. He promised He would never forsake us. And, He promised if we would just hang on, then He would prepare a place for us in Heaven where there will be no more pain, no sorrow, no sickness. And it's all free. He paid the price. Awesome!
We still have not made the move for him to be in my house all the time. He refuses to move until his house is sold. It's his last real possession so I don't push the issue. After his license was taken away, I can't force him to move. It would be heartless. As it stands, he's actually very excited about moving in with me. He'll be shocked, though. I'm a lousy housekeeper. I hope somebody like Martha Stewart gets to live with me in Heaven, because an eternity of messy houskeeping might become...well...un -Heaven-like!
But, God, as always, is doing a work in me. I've been writing--a lot. Very therapeutic. My friend, Hope, and I, are getting to know each other better and getting closer. I love this woman with all my being and I'm so thankful God put her in my life. We are kindred spirits, soul-mates, two peas in a pod. You get it. That has been a blessing, too.
I don't know how people do it. Those who don't have Christ in their life. I just don't know how they get through times that are difficult, painful. Jesus is my best friend. When others are busy with their own lives, but you need to talk--NOW--He's there. When people forget you're having a tough time, He never forgets and He's always there to comfort. When others hurt you so deeply you feel like you can't possibly take in another breath--he's there to soothe the hurt and wipe the tears away.
He never said this life would be easy. In fact, He told us to prepare for trials and persecution, but He did promise to always be with us. He promised He would never forsake us. And, He promised if we would just hang on, then He would prepare a place for us in Heaven where there will be no more pain, no sorrow, no sickness. And it's all free. He paid the price. Awesome!
6/18/2007
The Fullness of Christ
Night before last I was reading in Colossians 2:9-10 and the words, which don't forget, are active and alive, jumped right out at me!
"For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, Who is the head over every power and authority." Wow! What does all that mean? To boil it down to nuts and bolts it simply means, we have everything Christ has, so we have power over the evil of this dark world. That should make us weep with joy every time we read it.
We were sinners, doomed to hell. God sent Christ to Earth, in bodily form, to die for us--in our place--so we could live with God in eternity. Christ was perfect. We are not, BUT, now when God looks at you and me, He sees the perfection of Christ, not our sinful natures.
When Christ rose again and ascended to Heaven, He left The Holy Spirit to live in us, to comfort us, to teach us, to help us know when we do things that aren't right, sin. Because the Holy Spirit is part of the Godhead (Father, Son, Holy Spirit), equal with the Father and Son in every way, we have power over every power and authority. There are powers of darkness alive in this world, fighting to get you to do wrong. They can't take your salvation, because you have been sealed, but they can tempt you and persuade you to think wrong thoughts and do wrong things. But in Christ, we have power over those evils.
We're not helpless puppets with our strings being pulled hither and yon. Saying, "The devil made me do it," is a cop-out and downright blasphemous. The devil can only tempt you, he has no pwer over you. He only has the leeway you give him. Christ is your Master. You belong solely to HIm. He lives in you through The Holy Spirit and this verse says you have been given the fullness of Christ.
Now, does that mean you will never sin? No, that's not likely. We are not made perfect, but we do have the power to fight more than we do. I think Christians today sell God out way short. We can call on Him to fight diseases, demanding those spirits leave us alone. We can call on Him to give us His strength to deny temptation, never giving it a foothold. We can throw off shame in His name. We can throw off addction in His name.
Christ died to set us free! He died in our place, taking what we deserved, yes, but there is so much more. He died to give us new life, to make us new creations. We don't have to sit around with our hands folded neatly in our laps and fret about what we've done in the past or what we might do in the future. We are called to live as Christ. He lived a full life. He was invited to parties. He cast out demons with no fear, but with authority and according to this verse, we can do the same things! So let's start living. Let's grab the fullness of Christ and swing to the highest mountain tops and scream, "Geronimo!" when we let go and land in the Water of Life!!
Go ahead, get wet!
"For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, Who is the head over every power and authority." Wow! What does all that mean? To boil it down to nuts and bolts it simply means, we have everything Christ has, so we have power over the evil of this dark world. That should make us weep with joy every time we read it.
We were sinners, doomed to hell. God sent Christ to Earth, in bodily form, to die for us--in our place--so we could live with God in eternity. Christ was perfect. We are not, BUT, now when God looks at you and me, He sees the perfection of Christ, not our sinful natures.
When Christ rose again and ascended to Heaven, He left The Holy Spirit to live in us, to comfort us, to teach us, to help us know when we do things that aren't right, sin. Because the Holy Spirit is part of the Godhead (Father, Son, Holy Spirit), equal with the Father and Son in every way, we have power over every power and authority. There are powers of darkness alive in this world, fighting to get you to do wrong. They can't take your salvation, because you have been sealed, but they can tempt you and persuade you to think wrong thoughts and do wrong things. But in Christ, we have power over those evils.
We're not helpless puppets with our strings being pulled hither and yon. Saying, "The devil made me do it," is a cop-out and downright blasphemous. The devil can only tempt you, he has no pwer over you. He only has the leeway you give him. Christ is your Master. You belong solely to HIm. He lives in you through The Holy Spirit and this verse says you have been given the fullness of Christ.
Now, does that mean you will never sin? No, that's not likely. We are not made perfect, but we do have the power to fight more than we do. I think Christians today sell God out way short. We can call on Him to fight diseases, demanding those spirits leave us alone. We can call on Him to give us His strength to deny temptation, never giving it a foothold. We can throw off shame in His name. We can throw off addction in His name.
Christ died to set us free! He died in our place, taking what we deserved, yes, but there is so much more. He died to give us new life, to make us new creations. We don't have to sit around with our hands folded neatly in our laps and fret about what we've done in the past or what we might do in the future. We are called to live as Christ. He lived a full life. He was invited to parties. He cast out demons with no fear, but with authority and according to this verse, we can do the same things! So let's start living. Let's grab the fullness of Christ and swing to the highest mountain tops and scream, "Geronimo!" when we let go and land in the Water of Life!!
Go ahead, get wet!
6/17/2007
Father's Day
Happy Father's Day, Lord!
You are the greatest Father of all. You supply all my needs. You heal my hurts. You piece my life back together when I've made things a mess. You always have the right thing to say. You think I am the most beautiful thing You've ever seen--and tell me so. You took great pains to create me unique--and I must say, You did a fabulous job on that one aspect of who I am.
You have given me talents and blessed me with so many things--both tangible and not. You have given me life. You placed me in this wonderful country. You gave me awesome earthly parents. And, my child--I could never have prayed for anyone better.
And, not to mention, inviting me into Your throne room to talk! You listen so intently. You sing over me. You delight in me and our time together. You love me fully. It's breathtaking.
You have provided for me here on earth and when I go live with You in Heaven. With Your own, royal hands, You are building me a mansion. I pray I am providing You with enough building material that there'll be room for lots of people to visit with me through the years.
You take care of my physical needs, my health, my very breath. When others lost hope in my ability to live, You never did. You sustained me. You've carried me through so many times of sickness and near death experiences.
You fix my broken heart. I've had many, but You've always been there, filling in the deep dark hole humans tend to leave in other human hearts. You've taken me places I never would have gone without You. Everyday, You show me something beautiful You've made--I love those moments we share together. I know I am special to You.
Thank You, Lord.
Happy Father's Day to the best Daddy in the whole world.
You are the greatest Father of all. You supply all my needs. You heal my hurts. You piece my life back together when I've made things a mess. You always have the right thing to say. You think I am the most beautiful thing You've ever seen--and tell me so. You took great pains to create me unique--and I must say, You did a fabulous job on that one aspect of who I am.
You have given me talents and blessed me with so many things--both tangible and not. You have given me life. You placed me in this wonderful country. You gave me awesome earthly parents. And, my child--I could never have prayed for anyone better.
And, not to mention, inviting me into Your throne room to talk! You listen so intently. You sing over me. You delight in me and our time together. You love me fully. It's breathtaking.
You have provided for me here on earth and when I go live with You in Heaven. With Your own, royal hands, You are building me a mansion. I pray I am providing You with enough building material that there'll be room for lots of people to visit with me through the years.
You take care of my physical needs, my health, my very breath. When others lost hope in my ability to live, You never did. You sustained me. You've carried me through so many times of sickness and near death experiences.
You fix my broken heart. I've had many, but You've always been there, filling in the deep dark hole humans tend to leave in other human hearts. You've taken me places I never would have gone without You. Everyday, You show me something beautiful You've made--I love those moments we share together. I know I am special to You.
Thank You, Lord.
Happy Father's Day to the best Daddy in the whole world.
6/15/2007
The Word
Here's what John 1:1-2 says, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning."
Before time as we know it ever began to tick, God and The Word were together. There was no King James Version of the Bible. Language as we know it had yet to be invented, but The Word was dwelling in Heaven.
The next phrase of those verses says, "The Word was God." "He was with God." Who? The Word. Who is the Word? Jesus! How do I know that? Read on. John 1:14 says, "The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the Only Begotten, Who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."
Jesus was the Only Begotten Son of God. He was made flesh and He came to Earth to live among us. In yesterday's blog, I explained that Jesus came to Earth to save us. Today we learn He is The Word. He is the very Word of God made into a human being.
Do you see how awesome that is? Jesus was with God in Heaven as The Word. He came to Earth, as The Word, and lived among humans, as a human, but still The Word. When He was transfigured and ascended back into Heaven after His ministry was through, He was The Word, but now, NOW we have The Word in written form called the Scripture, the Bible! Glory!
So, my point today is this. God makes a big deal throughout Scripture about "hiding His Word in our hearts that we might not sin against Him," and especially David, a man after God's own heart talks about God's Word saving him and the laws of the Lord are life. Over and over again, the importance of the Word is brought home to us. In the New Testament, we are told the Word is God-breathed, God's Word is not chained, It is active and alive.
Are you getting the picture now? This is why it is so important to read your Bible every single day. Every time you feast your eyes upon the written Word of God, you are putting a piece of Jesus in your mind. When you memorize a verse or passage from The Bible, you are putting a piece of Jesus smack-dab in the middle of your heart. Remember, He is the Word!
God reveals secret treasures to those who read Hid Word. Jesus knows all the secrets, so it stands to reason then, when you read the Word (digesting Jesus) then you're going to know the secrets, too. The more you read, the better your understanding of The Word, the closer you are to God! How awesome!
Our Bibles give dates as to when certain book of the Bible were writtne. And, that's just it! The Bible is as eteranl as God and Jesus--The written word has a date and was penned by human hands--but God-breathed, but the actual Word is eternal.
So the next time you're tempted to brush your Bible aside, remember, Jesus is The Word. What or shall we ask, "Who," are you pushing aside and why would you want to?
Before time as we know it ever began to tick, God and The Word were together. There was no King James Version of the Bible. Language as we know it had yet to be invented, but The Word was dwelling in Heaven.
The next phrase of those verses says, "The Word was God." "He was with God." Who? The Word. Who is the Word? Jesus! How do I know that? Read on. John 1:14 says, "The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the Only Begotten, Who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."
Jesus was the Only Begotten Son of God. He was made flesh and He came to Earth to live among us. In yesterday's blog, I explained that Jesus came to Earth to save us. Today we learn He is The Word. He is the very Word of God made into a human being.
Do you see how awesome that is? Jesus was with God in Heaven as The Word. He came to Earth, as The Word, and lived among humans, as a human, but still The Word. When He was transfigured and ascended back into Heaven after His ministry was through, He was The Word, but now, NOW we have The Word in written form called the Scripture, the Bible! Glory!
So, my point today is this. God makes a big deal throughout Scripture about "hiding His Word in our hearts that we might not sin against Him," and especially David, a man after God's own heart talks about God's Word saving him and the laws of the Lord are life. Over and over again, the importance of the Word is brought home to us. In the New Testament, we are told the Word is God-breathed, God's Word is not chained, It is active and alive.
Are you getting the picture now? This is why it is so important to read your Bible every single day. Every time you feast your eyes upon the written Word of God, you are putting a piece of Jesus in your mind. When you memorize a verse or passage from The Bible, you are putting a piece of Jesus smack-dab in the middle of your heart. Remember, He is the Word!
God reveals secret treasures to those who read Hid Word. Jesus knows all the secrets, so it stands to reason then, when you read the Word (digesting Jesus) then you're going to know the secrets, too. The more you read, the better your understanding of The Word, the closer you are to God! How awesome!
Our Bibles give dates as to when certain book of the Bible were writtne. And, that's just it! The Bible is as eteranl as God and Jesus--The written word has a date and was penned by human hands--but God-breathed, but the actual Word is eternal.
So the next time you're tempted to brush your Bible aside, remember, Jesus is The Word. What or shall we ask, "Who," are you pushing aside and why would you want to?
6/14/2007
Who is Jesus?
Who is Jesus? Jesus gives us the answer to that question very directly in Scripture. In the book of John, Jesus says He is the Son of God sent to Earth to save man so he would not perish but have everlasting life. In Matthew, Jesus admits to Pontias Pilate He is King of the Jews. In Luke, Jesus testifies He is the Son of God, but He adds more. He states, "...from now on, the Son of God will be seated at the right hand of the mighty God."
That, Friends, is significant. Jesus knew he was getting ready to be crucified. He knew He was going to die. So how, then, could He make such a preposterous claim that from now on He would be seated at God's right hand? Because, Dear Ones, He knew He was going to be resurrected and live forever. Jesus is not dead! Jesus is alive and seated at the Father's right hand, waiting, waiting because He is patient and wants no one to perish, until the Father sends Him back to Earth to reign as King of Kings and Lord of Lords!
Jesus is the Messiah. He is God's Son. He is the High Priest. He is the Lamb Who was slain. He is the Savior of the world. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last. He is God. And He is coming back as the Lion of Judah to rule and to reign! Hallelujah!
And, He is the ONLY Way to Heaven. You must believe that He exists. You must believe He died for your sins and yours alone. You must believe He rose again on the third day. You must confess to Him your sinful nature. You have to tell Him you know you can't do enough good to save yourself and get to Heaven by your good works or by being a good person.
When you're willing to do that--then my Friend, you can approach the Throne of God with all confidence. God sees only your clean slate. Jesus paid your entry fee into Heaven by His shed blood and subsequent death on the cross. He Who had no sin, took your place. he carried your sin to the grave and rose agin without them! All you have to do is hold out your hand and let Him place the ticket in your palm. You know what it says?
"Paid in full. Admit one." You're in. Just ask Him to come into your life! That's Who Jesus is.
That, Friends, is significant. Jesus knew he was getting ready to be crucified. He knew He was going to die. So how, then, could He make such a preposterous claim that from now on He would be seated at God's right hand? Because, Dear Ones, He knew He was going to be resurrected and live forever. Jesus is not dead! Jesus is alive and seated at the Father's right hand, waiting, waiting because He is patient and wants no one to perish, until the Father sends Him back to Earth to reign as King of Kings and Lord of Lords!
Jesus is the Messiah. He is God's Son. He is the High Priest. He is the Lamb Who was slain. He is the Savior of the world. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last. He is God. And He is coming back as the Lion of Judah to rule and to reign! Hallelujah!
And, He is the ONLY Way to Heaven. You must believe that He exists. You must believe He died for your sins and yours alone. You must believe He rose again on the third day. You must confess to Him your sinful nature. You have to tell Him you know you can't do enough good to save yourself and get to Heaven by your good works or by being a good person.
When you're willing to do that--then my Friend, you can approach the Throne of God with all confidence. God sees only your clean slate. Jesus paid your entry fee into Heaven by His shed blood and subsequent death on the cross. He Who had no sin, took your place. he carried your sin to the grave and rose agin without them! All you have to do is hold out your hand and let Him place the ticket in your palm. You know what it says?
"Paid in full. Admit one." You're in. Just ask Him to come into your life! That's Who Jesus is.
Consider it all Joy
Good Morning, One and all,
I didn't get much sleep last night (I told you, you can't give us ADDers too much excitement) thinking about what I would post today. (I even dreamed somebody was trying to steal my blog!)
I wanted to talk more about my Dad. Thats's what occupies a lot of my thinking time anyway. It's ironic how much like a two, three, four and five year old he can be these days. I know, I know, some of you are thinking that your husband doesn't have Alzheimer's and that sentence describes him, but...well, let's move on.
Daddy sleeps, eats a little when told to, and poops--just like a baby. He can't read anymore. He doesn't like the "mess" on TV (mostly the advertisements bother him, but he thinks they are the program). He doesn't turn the lights on. He has to be told when to bathe. He's just like a kid--only, this is my Dad. My brain processes him as my Dad, sees him as my Dad and expects my Dad to react, my Dad to be behind those eyes. More and more it's definitely not my Dad. A stranger has taken over his body and is trying to fast forward him backwards. It's like "Alice in Wonderland."
And, temper tantrums! That's where the two year old comes in. My father was gentle, rational and full of wisdom and sage advice. I went to him with everything. Like I said, "My Father is gone." The bodysnatchers have invaded and in his place they have left an ill-tempered, quick to anger, foul man that irritates me sometimes.
Of course, the guilt floods in, because just as my brain can't process the changes, neither can my heart. I loved my Daddy very much. I don't think we ever said five cross words to each other when I was growing up. I was the "apple of his eye" and he told me so on a regular baasis. He never spanked me (a thump on the head once or twice). A swift act to pretend he was going to remove his belt was all it took to scare me into doing the right thing or making a hasty, if shallow, apology.
I get irritated when he calls me at 10:30pm to come over to his house to turn his air-conditioning down--he's cold--and I was sound asleep! And, when he calls me to fuss because I've misplaced something--and it was really him that misplaced it. Or when he accuses me of eating his cheeseburger--when in reality I bought him two and he ate them both! I get irritated when he is so adamant about everything, but can't remember anything. And, when he ask me the same question ten times in the span of two minutes. My Dad was smart!
I know he's frustrated and that breaks my heart. He knows he can't remember, but he wants to so bad. I think that's part of why he's so mean-spirited. It's the only way he has now of showing he is still the authority and still the head of the house--still in control of himself. Added to that, he and my Momma had been married 61 years when she moved to Heaven. That's a long time to live with somebody. And, they didn't just live together, he absolutely adored her.
He would sit across from her at the table and grin and chills would overtake him as he said, "Isn't she the purtiest thing you've ever seen?" She was 80! They still held hands. He patted her thigh each night before they quit talking and went to sleep. They would lie in bed for an hour most every night just talking. It wasn't too long ago I spent the night at their house, we all went to bed, but I couldn't gew to sleep because my parents were talking and giggling across the hall in their bed--with the lights off! Cute, but eeww!
A day doesn't pass that my Daddy doesn't say, "My world has been turned upside down." I agree with him there. I feel like salt in a well-used salt shaker and somebody's using me to season their mashed potatoes!
But, alas, Jesus never promised us life would not be hard. In fact, He warned us a good bit that it would be frought with hard times, testing, temptation and persecution. He did promise never to leave us or forsake us. He did ask us to give Him our burdens. He promises us a place in Heaven where He Himself is preparing a place for us. There? A place with no more tears, no more sorrow, our minds will be clear, our "Happily Ever After" will be lived in full perfection. We will have our Prince Charming, rescuing us on a white horse. Oh Happy Day!
The Holy Spirit keeps reminding me, "Consider it all joy." "Consider it all joy." Over and over. When I get tired from running back and forth between two households. When I get frustrated when Daddy is not Daddy. When I don't have time for everything I want to accomplish in a day. When I feel isolated and alone. When I miss my Momma so much it feels like my heart is being ripped from it's place in my chest. When friends have deserted me. He reminds me, "Consider it all joy."
Love. Trust. Obey. Believe. Persevere. Have faith. Run the race. Consider it all joy.
With my head on His chest,
A
I didn't get much sleep last night (I told you, you can't give us ADDers too much excitement) thinking about what I would post today. (I even dreamed somebody was trying to steal my blog!)
I wanted to talk more about my Dad. Thats's what occupies a lot of my thinking time anyway. It's ironic how much like a two, three, four and five year old he can be these days. I know, I know, some of you are thinking that your husband doesn't have Alzheimer's and that sentence describes him, but...well, let's move on.
Daddy sleeps, eats a little when told to, and poops--just like a baby. He can't read anymore. He doesn't like the "mess" on TV (mostly the advertisements bother him, but he thinks they are the program). He doesn't turn the lights on. He has to be told when to bathe. He's just like a kid--only, this is my Dad. My brain processes him as my Dad, sees him as my Dad and expects my Dad to react, my Dad to be behind those eyes. More and more it's definitely not my Dad. A stranger has taken over his body and is trying to fast forward him backwards. It's like "Alice in Wonderland."
And, temper tantrums! That's where the two year old comes in. My father was gentle, rational and full of wisdom and sage advice. I went to him with everything. Like I said, "My Father is gone." The bodysnatchers have invaded and in his place they have left an ill-tempered, quick to anger, foul man that irritates me sometimes.
Of course, the guilt floods in, because just as my brain can't process the changes, neither can my heart. I loved my Daddy very much. I don't think we ever said five cross words to each other when I was growing up. I was the "apple of his eye" and he told me so on a regular baasis. He never spanked me (a thump on the head once or twice). A swift act to pretend he was going to remove his belt was all it took to scare me into doing the right thing or making a hasty, if shallow, apology.
I get irritated when he calls me at 10:30pm to come over to his house to turn his air-conditioning down--he's cold--and I was sound asleep! And, when he calls me to fuss because I've misplaced something--and it was really him that misplaced it. Or when he accuses me of eating his cheeseburger--when in reality I bought him two and he ate them both! I get irritated when he is so adamant about everything, but can't remember anything. And, when he ask me the same question ten times in the span of two minutes. My Dad was smart!
I know he's frustrated and that breaks my heart. He knows he can't remember, but he wants to so bad. I think that's part of why he's so mean-spirited. It's the only way he has now of showing he is still the authority and still the head of the house--still in control of himself. Added to that, he and my Momma had been married 61 years when she moved to Heaven. That's a long time to live with somebody. And, they didn't just live together, he absolutely adored her.
He would sit across from her at the table and grin and chills would overtake him as he said, "Isn't she the purtiest thing you've ever seen?" She was 80! They still held hands. He patted her thigh each night before they quit talking and went to sleep. They would lie in bed for an hour most every night just talking. It wasn't too long ago I spent the night at their house, we all went to bed, but I couldn't gew to sleep because my parents were talking and giggling across the hall in their bed--with the lights off! Cute, but eeww!
A day doesn't pass that my Daddy doesn't say, "My world has been turned upside down." I agree with him there. I feel like salt in a well-used salt shaker and somebody's using me to season their mashed potatoes!
But, alas, Jesus never promised us life would not be hard. In fact, He warned us a good bit that it would be frought with hard times, testing, temptation and persecution. He did promise never to leave us or forsake us. He did ask us to give Him our burdens. He promises us a place in Heaven where He Himself is preparing a place for us. There? A place with no more tears, no more sorrow, our minds will be clear, our "Happily Ever After" will be lived in full perfection. We will have our Prince Charming, rescuing us on a white horse. Oh Happy Day!
The Holy Spirit keeps reminding me, "Consider it all joy." "Consider it all joy." Over and over. When I get tired from running back and forth between two households. When I get frustrated when Daddy is not Daddy. When I don't have time for everything I want to accomplish in a day. When I feel isolated and alone. When I miss my Momma so much it feels like my heart is being ripped from it's place in my chest. When friends have deserted me. He reminds me, "Consider it all joy."
Love. Trust. Obey. Believe. Persevere. Have faith. Run the race. Consider it all joy.
With my head on His chest,
A
First Day of Blogging--Adventurous!
Well friends,A new day has started. I never, NEVER stay up this late! This is what happens when you give somebody with ADD something new. I'm so excited about blogging and hearing what everyone has to say about their love for Jesus I just can't close my eyes.
I hope this summer everyone finds time in their hectic vacationing schedules to get to know Jesus better than you do right this minute. He is so worth it!
If you try and post, please keep trying if it doesn't work the first thirty or so times. I'm trying to get the kinks ironed out. I can't promise how many times a day I'll moderate your comments and I may not respond to each one individually, but I'll try. Please know I will read them all.
Pray for our country. Pray for each other. Pray for the peace of Jerusalem. Pray for solidarity within The Church.
So long, My Fellow Sojourners--Good Night!
6/13/2007
Sandwiched In
New to blogging--Wow! So I guess the first thing I want to say is, "Thank You, Lord, for all Your blessings. Your love endures forever!"
My Mom moved to Heaven in March so now my Daddy is moving in with me, my daughter, my husband, my three dogs and our lone bird. Daddy has Alzheimer's along with millions of others his age. Funny I never thought I would join the "Sandwich Generation."
I'm writing a book about all this. I know thousands of families are finding themselves in this less than "fairy tale" setting, but we must "consider it all joy", as the Apostle Paul says. This is where God has put us for His service.
This is Neat! So long, Dear Ones.
My Mom moved to Heaven in March so now my Daddy is moving in with me, my daughter, my husband, my three dogs and our lone bird. Daddy has Alzheimer's along with millions of others his age. Funny I never thought I would join the "Sandwich Generation."
I'm writing a book about all this. I know thousands of families are finding themselves in this less than "fairy tale" setting, but we must "consider it all joy", as the Apostle Paul says. This is where God has put us for His service.
This is Neat! So long, Dear Ones.
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