Perceptions of a Lab Puppy

I realized this morning that our experinces in life skew our perception of reality. That's why we are all so different. That's why things we are say or do are so grossly misinterpreted sometimes. I have a friend who has so twisted my intentions and things I have said that I can't be myself around this person. That's sad.

If I had to compare my personality to something, I would guess I'm closest to a Labrador Retriever puppy. I have a zest and exuberance for life, I love to play and I love praise from my Master. I get along with everybody and I rarely growl--I never bite. I show what I'm feeling with a good strong "wag of my tail." I like to be petted and I pet back. I show affection easily and readily and sometimes I run too hard in the house, bumping into things, occasionally breaking something.

This friend thinks I'm a conniver and needy. Those are two words I would never in a million years ascribe to myself. I am going through a rough time right now and have asked for some moral support, but I don't really consider that needy. I consider that good friendship. Perceptions.

Lately I have detected a huge change in the person's attitude. I am extremely sensitive to people's feelings. I can usually tell what people are thinking when they themselves might not know. People are always asking me, "How did you know what I was thinking?" A gift? Maybe. Sometimes I'd rather not know. Like now. I knew I had said something wrong. My friend went from calling me everyday to ignoring me when I would call. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out there's something wrong. I called more than usual and left messages more than usual to try and talk things through. Finally, we talked and what my friend perceived I had done and what I had done were not even close. It's all about perceptions. Then because I had called so much, she got mad that I had called so much. Well, if one would answer the phone the first time one is called then one other wouldn't have to leave so many messages. Makes sense to me. Perceptions.

I have a tendency to give people gifts, do things for them, wear colors and things they like--I kinda thought that's what relationships were built on. I try to do things that please and I have no ulterior motive. I like to say things that build people up and make them feel good about themselves. Isn't that what we're supposed to do? Edify people? This friend has totally misconstrued my attempts to please as being clingy and weak! Oh for heaven's sake when did doing things for people become a crime? If someone tells me blue looks good on me, then I'll wear blue around that person more often than not. I don't consider it clingy to try to please someone you care about. Perceptions.

I hate to see our friendship come to an end, but I'm Easy Like Sunday Morning. I don't like messy, complicated, friendships where each word has to be carefully weighed and I'm always worried about offending. I like to be able to show my exuberance for you without misinterpretation. I like to give you things and have my gifts accepted without your thinking there is an ulterior motive behind the act. I like to be accepted for who I am, warts and all with the understanding that I will do the same for you. I like for love to flow freely and naturally and if it bubbles to the surface of my mouth, let me say it without any obligation on your part to say it back. I like to show my excitement when I'm with you. Perceptions.

The lab puppy in me is fiercely loyal, desiring to please, not easily offended, but when offended I put my tail between my legs for awhile, then later try to poke your hand with my nose to get you to pet me once again, will chase sticks and bring them back to you all day to gain your approval and love the water.

The motivation to manipulate, connive and deceive are foreign to me. They involve complicated thought processes and the desire to hurt people because you want them to do and act as you want them to, not as they are. I'm honest, transparent and simple.

I think because of my friends' past experiences, she can't accept my love and friendship without believing every thing I do and say has an ulterior motive. Perceptions skewed by past experience gives everyone a different perspective on reality. Life is full of what is perceived to be. Accepting people is part of your perception of who they are.

If you perceive that someone is gruff, then you might avoid them. But if you let the reality come to you just at face value, you may find out that person has been hurt and walls have been put up, but they are really dying for love and affection. Their perception of your intent has been skewed by their own reality.

Every relationship comes with different perceptions and a different reality. Relationships work best when no one is trying to force their reality onto you. It doesn't work, because your experiences haven't been the same and that makes what you perceive so very different than me.

Empathy, understanding, insight, wisdom, the ability to see more than one perspective, placing value in differences, gaining knowledge when you allow yourself to enter another's reality, if only for a short while, learning from another 's opinion while being confident enough in your own to not be swayed when it's important, though not stubbornly refusing to change, because, you never know, your reality of what doesn't need to be changed may be off-centered because of your past experience. Perceptions.